| It is very important
that when a victim of sexual abuse comes forth and
reports the crime to family, friends, law enforcement,
and others, that he or she be listened to in the
most sincere fashion possible. Studies have shown
that the most credible account of what occurred
during a rape or child molestation comes from the
victim him/herself. Studies suggest that approximately
3-5% of all rape or child molestation allegations
that are reported are false...Therefore, nearly
95% are based on a factual incident. When a victim
comes forth and reports the crime, there will almost
undoubtedly be two sides to the story: the victim's
disclosure and the offender's. It is important to
remember that the offender will most likely find
people to support his/her story. This is a part
of the offender's mode of operation--to have a planned
out alibi with people to support it. When the victim
is related to the offender, a sharp divide may consume
the family system, with some family members supporting
the alleged offender's story and others supporting
the victim's. This divide not only serves to facilitate
familial dysfunction, but also can severely traumatize
the victim and create a very strong perception of
shame and guilt for reporting.
There are thousands of victims of sexual abuse
that never come forward and report the crime. This
may be due to a number of factors. First, the grooming
technique an offender uses can make the victim feel
as if he or she was an active participant in the
abuse itself. If the victim feels this way, they
may not report the crime because they may feel responsible
in some way. A rape victim may not report the crime
out of fear, since many rapists will tell the victim
that if they disclose the crime, he will return
(however, very few rapists actually do). The victim
of sexual abuse may be very aware that people may
doubt his/her disclosure, their character, their
choices, and because of this perception, they may
not disclose. This would be considered the community
reaction to the crime, and it includes boyfriends/husbands,
the police, neighbors, family, the court, etc.
There are still numerous people in our society
that feel that rape is justified under certain conditions.
Many people believe that a prostitute "cannot"
be raped. Just imagine if a prostitute entered a
police station and reported that she had just been
raped. If the police are aware that she is a prostitute,
how might they react? Moreover, maybe the woman
chooses not to tell the officers that she is a prostitute.
How would she relate the dynamics of the crime?
How would the police react when they discover she
is a prostitute?
In an American Medical Association study, over
half of the 6000 teenagers stated that there were
some circumstances under which rape is acceptable,
such as if the male and female had dated six months
or longer or if he'd spent considerable money on
her.
Much of the psychological damage a victim receives
comes not from the assault itself, but from the
post assault reactions from others. It is very important
that police investigators and prosecutors recognize
how their behavior with the victim affects not only
the immediate and long-term ability to deal with
the incident, but also his or her willingness to
assist in a prosecution. Recognizing this fact,
the first people who come in contact with a victim
post assault have an opportunity to set the stage,
through their behavior and reactions, for an easier
or more difficult recovery for the victim.
It is important to understand that there is no
single, standard, or "appropriate" victim
response to rape or molestation. There would be
two general response types that many victims follow:
expressive or guarded. Some victims will be very
verbal, be in tears, and be angry, and so forth
following the offense. Others will be guarded, quiet,
attempt to go on. Some victims may switch back and
forth from being expressive to guarded.
When a sexual assault occurs, there are numerous
victims that are produced. Obviously, there is the
primary victim--the one in which the assault was
directly targeted to. There are many other secondary
victims. The children of the victim, husband, and
other family members. They will all grieve in their
own way, and it is important for professionals to
assist everyone involved.
Investigators, juries, judges, prosecutors, and
everyone else must understand that rape victims,
immediately following the assault, may not react
with all of their normal faculties. When someone
suffers a traumatic event, it may take a while for
your head to clear and your heart rate to return
to normal. For sexual assault victims, this temporary
detachment may result in delays in reporting...Which
can also hinder a successful prosecution. If there
is a delay in reporting the assault, it is imperative
that investigators and prosecutors do not berate
her, or challenge her for not reporting immediately.
Instead, they should recognize the courage it takes
to report a crime of this nature (and to survive
such crimes), and no one should ever second-guess
the victim’s tactics in handling the crisis.
Many victims of sexual abuse do fully recover.
This is not to suggest that they ever forget about
what occurred, because they do not. However, they
can, with the help of family, friends, and professionals,
go on with their lives and be happy again.
Victims of Child Molestation
Being sexually abused as a child or as a teenager
can have a wide-range of both short and long-term
effects. Many times, the offenders will try and
use the following line in their defense, "if
I really sexually abused him/her, why did she still
want to play with me?". I will also be told
from family members of offenders that the alleged
victim and offender are very close and have a good
relationship. These dynamics can be very confusing
(especially for the victim) for mental health professionals,
law enforcement, judges, and prosecutors. How can
a child be sexually abused by someone close to him/her,
yet still want to "play" with that person,
or have a relationship with that person?
The reason this may occur is due to what we call
grooming, or the method the offender used to have
the victim comply with his or her wishes. For instance,
if the offender was very nice to the victim prior
to the offending, bought gifts, or gave special
attention to the victim, the child victim would
naturally yearn for such behaviors or items. Just
as important, however, is the fact that the victim
may be a close relative to the offender, and truly
does not want the offender to leave (especially
if this is in conjunction with gifts and attention);
however, this does not mean the victim wants the
abuse to continue.
Many people erroneously believe that child victims
of sexual abuse are always traumatized by the abuse,
and overtly angry with the offender. Sometimes this
could not be farther from the truth. I have worked
with both adult men and women who have been sexually
abused as children, who state that they were not
traumatized, nor did they want the offender to be
incarcerated. Did the sexual abuse affect them?
Of course, just not in a traumatic way. The abuse
may have affected their boundaries, sexual interests
and behaviors, trust, and sexual orientation; however,
it did not traumatize them. What may traumatize
them, however, is the reaction from others. For
instance, if the child and offender were caught
by the child's mother, and the mother, rightfully
so, goes ballistic. Within minutes the police arrive
and take the child away. In a few hours, the child
is being interviewed by child protective service
workers, who may be acting like something traumatic
happened. The child will then interpret the entire
situation as traumatic, even if the child did not
interpret the abuse, at the time, as traumatic.
A very high degree of psychological damage can
occur if the offender makes the victim feel physical
pleasure during the offense(s). This will produce
a level of guilt and shame that is very powerful.
Moreover, the victim is less likely to disclose
the abuse, and if he or she does, they are very
likely to minimize it. This would be because the
victim may feel partly to blame for the abuse because
they experienced pleasure (this is a grooming technique).
I have treated countless victims who, after the
abuse was revealed (either through someone observing,
or indirectly), did not disclose the full extent.
They fear they will get in trouble for not telling
themselves, and fear and shame because they experienced
physical pleasure. As the victims grow older, they
may be unable to process the abuse, and continue
to blame both themselves as well as the offender.
The shame produced can be so intense as to create
suicidal ideation, a loss of "self", and
self-destructive behaviors.
Victims of child sexual abuse can go on to lead
normal, healthy lives. They can learn to let go
of the pain, and to increase their self-awareness
of how the abuse affected them. Sometimes it takes
the right therapist, just the right book, or even
just time.
Return to The
American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress
Homepage
Rosenberg and Associates can be
reached at www.angelfire.com/mi/collateral/victims.html.
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