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The
Relation Between Bullying Among Siblings and Among Peers
“Mum, my brother is teasing
me!” “Dad, my brother won’t let me use
the computer!”
Fights and quarrels are quite frequent in each family
and one of the main efforts of parents is to maintain
peace between siblings. Do these fights matter? How much
can these disputes and conflicts help siblings to learn
skills in social relationships or, alternatively, enhance
aggression and negative behaviors such as bullying?
Having a sibling is frequently considered a resource
for children’s development (1, 2). In fact, positive
interactions as well as conflicts and disputes with a
brother or a sister provide a natural context in which
children can learn mediations skills, respect of the others,
empathy and caring in a relatively protected environment
(1). However, siblings’ relationships also have
the potential to affect children’s development negatively.
Especially if younger children have older brothers, they
can experience a higher level of aggression and assimilate
and transfer this problematic behaviour into the school
context (3).
Sibling relationships are characterized by a balance
of affect and conflict; if conflict is mitigated by affect,
the relationship can provide a positive context for learning
social skills and for understanding other people’s
emotions and perspectives. In contrast, children who experience
high levels of conflict and low levels of affect are more
likely to show social problems in the peer context (1,
4). On the whole, a clear association emerges between
sibling experiences and peer problems outside the family.
If the relation is positive, children can benefit from
sibling experiences; if the relationship is aggressive,
such behaviour may also turn up outside of the home (4,
5).
Is this true also for bullying? Can we call the frequent
conflicts and disputes between siblings bullying? Comparing
sibling conflicts and school bullying we find common elements
but also specific differences. To be considered bullying
in either context, the interactions must show:
•an intentional nature - the bully
deliberately brings damage to the victim;
•persistency - the attacks are
repeated over time;
•an imbalance of power –
often the bully is stronger than the victim, who is not
able to react effectively.
Beyond these common elements. bullying behaviours in
the home and school context do differ in one important
regard – in the school context, bullying is recognized
as social in nature, with such behaviour often directed
to the group, through the public attack on the victim.
The dynamic between siblings is more direct and typically
does not involve a larger group of witnesses. Furthermore,
quarrels and fighting at home may be more common and therefore
less disapproved than in school context.
We recently carried out a study of 195 children, aged
10-12 years, all of whom had a brother or sister who were
up to 4 years younger or older than themselves (6). We
found that the presence of bullying and victimization
is as strong among siblings as among peers. The problem
seems even more worrisome at home.
•Children reported higher bullying and victimization
at home and higher victimization by older brothers. Respectively,
38.4% and 34.4.% reported bullying and victimization experiences
at home, with particularly higher levels of bullying boys
(48.9%). By contrast, lower levels of bullying and victimization
were reported in school: 17.1% and 23.2%, respectively.
Thus, we can assume that at home it is more common to
reciprocate attacks and fights among siblings, as the
relationship is more intimate and less affected by the
risk of loosing the relationships, as compared to interactions
with peers or within friendships.
•We also found a significant correlation between
sibling and school bullying and victimization, in that
some children who were bullies or victims at home seemed
to maintain their roles at school.
•With regard to gender differences, we found that
children were victimized more often by brothers than by
sisters. When birth order was considered, together with
gender, we found that children were victimized more often
by older brothers than by older sisters or by younger
brothers and sisters. Bullying at home was more often
perpetrated by older brothers who often provided their
younger brothers and sisters with modeling and training
in the use of social behaviours, including aggression.
In relation to bullying behavior, Patterson (3) underlined
how older siblings tend to victimize younger siblings
and how the more submissive behavior of younger siblings
can reinforce older siblings’ attacks. However,
at the same time, younger siblings’ exposure to
aggression promotes aggressive behavior that often generalizes
to children’s behavior with their peers.
We can also ask ourselves why children develop a bullying
relation with their siblings. According to our research,
the characteristics associated with bullying siblings
varies for boys and girls. For boys, personal characteristics,
particularly emotional instability, and the degree of
conflicts can account for siblings tendency to bully each
other more. For girls, a low level of empathy and caring
between the two siblings can be a significant predictor
of bullying (6).
Parents should:
•pay more attention to sibling relationships,
•try to mediate and to prevent high levels of
conflict, especially if they have older sons,
•mediate especially when children are more impulsive
and irritable, or
•if their relationships appear negative and full
of conflict.
In conclusion, our research indicates that siblings
relationships can, in some cases, serve as a “training
ground” for bullying, deviancy and aggression through
social learning processes or behavioral patterns that
can be reinforced across contexts. In order to prevent
and reduce sibling bullying.
School teachers, on the other hand, will need to adopt
a multi-contextual approach to the problem, a “family
– school” focus to understand bullying and
to contrast its diffusion. Bullying starts at an early
age and greater efforts should be made to prevent and
to combat its growth both at home and in school contexts.
References
1. Brody G. H. (2004). Siblings’
direct and indirect contributions to child development.
Current Directions in Psychological Science, 13,3,124-126.
2. Dunn, J. (1988). Sibling influences
on childhood development. Journal of Child Psychology
and Psychiatry, 29, 119-127.
3. Patterson, G. R. (1986). The contribution
of siblings to training for fighting. A microsocial analysis.
In D. Olweus, J. Block & M. Radke-Yarrow (Eds.). The
development of antisocial and prosocial behavior (pp.
235-261). New York: Academic Press
4. Bank, L., Burraston, B., & Snyder,
J. (2004). Sibling conflict and ineffective parenting
as predictors of adolescent boys’ antisocial behavior
and peer difficulties: Additive and interactional effects.
Journal of Research on Adolescence, 14, 99–125.
5. Pike, A, Coldwell, J., & Dunn, J.
F. (2005). Sibling relationships in early/middle childhood:
Links with individual adjustment. Journal of Family Psychology,
19, 523–532.
6. Menesini E., Camodeca M., Nocentini
A. (2008) Bullying among siblings: the role of relational
and personality variables. British Journal Of Developmental
Psychology, submitted.
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